See you later...

My family and I just experienced the closest thing to a real life "Notebook" story.  My last post I told you about losing my Grandma, well exactly a month to the day later we lost my Grandpa.  I told you-they just couldn't be apart for too long.  In the history of couples that belong together- there is Mickey and Minnie, Romeo and Juliet, and not far behind- Ed and June.

I know we are relieved that they can be together again, free from pain- reliving the glory days of drinking beer, playing cards and dancing.  But I think this loss has hit a bit harder.  Maybe because somehow it's more definite. Not that before Grandma was coming back, but with Grandpa here- part of their family was still here, there was still Grandma and Grandpa's house to visit.  The lost of Grandma was still so fresh and now there is Grandpa too.  I think its just hitting everyone a little harder.

Together Grandma and Grandpa lit up a room- their smiles, and laughter just filled a room with joy and love. But in my last post I shared with you a little bit about my Grandma, so it's only fair that this one I tell you about my Grandpa.  He was the kindest man, a true gentleman. He always put everyone before himself. He loved his family and his wife more than anything. I believe his greatest joys were when all of his children, grandchildren and eventually great grandchildren were together.

I can't really sum up my Grandpa's whole 91 years of life in just a few sentences but I can say he was warm, loving, sweet, jovial, funny and just always seemed to enjoy life.  My amazing aunt put together a video tribute that really sums his spirit and life up better than I ever could. http://vimeo.com/106232790.

I will share a few of my favorite Grandpa memories though.
When I was little and we would go out to eat with my grandparents and I'd get a dessert, Grandpa always take a bite first and say, "I better test that out for you- make sure it's OK." He was funny, clever, quick-witted and a little corny, but in a way that can only be Grandpa.  Along with playing card games- which Grandma and Grandpa taught us all at an early age- we also played dominos.  I remember my Grandpa getting so frustrated with the game- he always ended up with the worst tiles- nothing to play and a million points to add up at the end. Without fail every game at some point (usually still in the first round or two) included Grandpa saying with great frustration "I hate this game!"  I have to say this phrase comes up in every game we play as a family- at some point, by someone- but we always play again.

We have already begun cleaning out Grandma and Grandpa's house- and each child and grandchild has taken a little something to have in our own homes- a way to remind us of them, keep them close to us. It's been hard- filled with tears, stress and heartache- but also some laughter and even a few happy tears- laughter is healing- and if there is something we can always make each other do it's- laugh.

I believe is ghosts, angels, spirits- whatever you want to call them.  I believe even after someone leaves this world physically they are still here with us. They are still a part of our lives. I've felt it.

I lost my best friend over two years ago and on multiple occasions since I've felt her with me.  Things have happened that maybe could be explained in some other way- but I don't care to explain them in any other way.  I know they were Lauren saying hi, or just being with me. I know the night my son was born- I called on Lauren- I was scared and anxious and had no idea what to expect- I just said Lauren help me through this, be with me. And I know she was.  Another time right after I visited Lauren's gravestone-the first time I had taken Elijah with me-I was pulling out of the cemetery and my inside car lights turned on, and started beeping like my trunk was open.  But it was not it hadn't opened in several days.  Now you have to know that Lauren had this obsession with checking her car to make sure her trunk was closed - she would always double, triple check it every time we left my house. I know that when I left the cemetery that was just Lauren saying hello.

I also believe this has already happened with my Grandma.  The Thursday after my Grandma's funeral I was driving to work and lightning struck right in front of my car- maybe five-ten feet away. It was SCARY!  But I was ok- I know that was my Grandma just saying hi.  I know this sounds strange too- but my Grandma was electric! Every house she had ever lived in-since she was 5 years old had been struck by lightning- and she moved a lot!

Sure these situations could be coincidences and maybe they can all logically be explained but I'd rather believe that the people I love who have passed on are with me, watching over me, helping me. I believe after someone passes on- that we can carry them with us our whole lives and a part of them lives on with us. I also believe these same loved ones carry us through some of the darkest, hardest times of our lives. Times when we feel like giving up, when we are so overwhelmed they push us to continue through to the lighter times.

So as sad as we all are now-dealing with the fresh losses of Grandma and Grandpa  (and I'll tell you heaven got some good ones this past month)  I know I have just gained two more people who will be watching over me, and I'll be looking for a hello from them every once in a while!  So I will not say goodbye Grandpa- I'll just say See you later!

Love you Grandpa!

JS

Saying Goodbye

Two weeks ago today we lost my Grandma. It's not that this was a total shock- she had been sick, I guess it just came a little faster than anyone thought.  My family and I are all relieved she did not have to suffer too long.  But her not being with us in this world has left us with sorrow, grief and longing.

Grandma and Grandpa at my wedding in 2012

My Grandma was just what you picture when you think of "Grandma"- she always had a candy jar- maybe two out in her house (one with Skittles, one with chocolate) and no matter how quiet you tried to be sneaking candy before dinner you'd hear from the other room, "I heard that."  I remember her and my Grandpa taking care of me one summer and spending almost the entire summer teaching me to shuffle cards- we play a lot of card games in my family- so you gotta learn young!  I remember taking a train ride with my cousins and grandparents and Grandma pulling lemon drops out of her purse for us to snack on during the train ride- even though I'm pretty sure the train was taking us to lunch!  She was loving, joyful, clever and funny- she was Grandma.

When I think of the "leader" in our family- I think of her.  She organized get-togethers, hosted parties, planned trips. I hope she knows she left a family who will continue on the parties,  get-togethers and traditions she started.  We will even continue the traditions we each complain and grumble through- Christmas cookie decorating, every year we make too many- but every year we make the same.  It's what we do, and we will continue to do. Because who doesn't love Christmas cookies until Valentine's Day!  :)

The hardest part of this loss is seeing my Grandpa without her.

My entire life I never saw my Grandma and Grandpa apart (I mean maybe by a room- Grandma in the kitchen, Grandpa watching the game in the family room).  They truly lived their lives together- is there anything more amazing then to honestly be able to say you shared your whole life with someone- from 16 years old on?   It's just amazing and so lovely!  She passed away peacefully, holding my Grandpa's hand- I can't think of a more peaceful way for her to pass on.

I absolutely love this picture from my Grandparents wedding. 

My Grandpa is being strong, he is heartbroken but he is still getting up, smiling, laughing and yelling at the Reds, or Bengals.  (There isn't always a lot to cheer about with Cincinnati sports)

Grandma help create a family filled with support, laughter and love for each other.  At her memorial there was a sadness of saying goodbye but a lightness as well. We were all together and I think that makes us realize how strong we are as a family.  I see a part of her in all of us and that will help carry on her memory and legacy. 

After we cried for our loss, we laughed remembering good times, and planning for future memories.  I do not think there is anything more healing then laughter.  I'm proud to be a part of a family that never ceases to smile, laugh and love. 

Love you Grandma! 

JS

Thriving in Chaos....

I'm not sure how everyone else feels...maybe it's something all moms' feel- or maybe I'm just weird- but I feel like I am so much more productive, happy and satisfied when I have just about too much on my plate!

I really started to notice it when I was in college- my last semester of college- I was taking a full class load- had three part-time jobs and an internship- I was BUSY- but I loved it- I knew what I had to do each day and I went to bed feeling accomplished each night!  That semester was the only semester my entire college (and possibly high school) career I got a 4.0 GPA!

After graduation my first "Big Girl Job" was as an administrative assistant- I was BORED out of my mind- and as a result of not being challenged at work I got a little complacent and lazy in my personal life too- I was itching for more projects, more responsibility, more challenges.  My second job outside of college was at a waterpark in marketing, and planning events- I loved it!  I got to be creative, organized, have fun and working with the public there was just a bit of craziness!


In the past few years I've had a couple of career changes, planned a wedding, bought a house and oh yeah had a baby- so it's kept me pretty busy! Just when things are starting to calm down- and I feel like I'm kind of getting the hang of things professionally and personally- I'm itching for more! I need a creative release, a project, a trip, an adventure!

I'm so happy right now in my life- I love seeing my son grow and change everyday- he's getting to such a playful age, and our puppy provides just another dash of unbridled energy. I'm happy but I'm also itching for something more-professionally and creatively. (Without taking too much time away from my little man- because he comes before everything else in my life.)

Something I know I am missing- is something we did in my time in marketing at the waterpark.  We put together little videos showing guests and events at the park. I have always loved movies and it was so fun to quickly make these promo videos highlighting the park.  It was probably my favorite thing to do at the park.  I miss it- I wish there was some aspect of my career now that gave me a reason to make something similar- but real estate doesn't exactly provide the same chaos and fun as a waterpark.

While planning my wedding I did put together a fairly long slideshow presentation of my husband and I growing up and had it transition through several different songs. I may be a little biased but I thought it was pretty good!  I also designed and printed my own wedding invitations, save the date cards, programs, cards for the guest gift and thank you cards.  Everything went together, and fit into the look of my wedding. Again- I may be biased but I was very proud of my wedding and the look I created was exactly what I wanted.

My point to all of this is- I'm itching to get some more creativity into my life.   Designing- invites, cards, whatever- I can probably do it.  Or I can put together photos, or video clips into a movie.  Just let me know what you need or what you are looking for and I'd be happy to try and help!

I loved planning my wedding day, and creating all the special little parts of it that make it unique and personal.  I love meeting new people, talking wedding and family and I'd love to help someone else plan their big day.  I've planned a number of different events in my personal and professional life- so I am very familiar with the process.

If there is something you would like my help with- designing, planning or editing- send me a message, leave me a comment, or connect with me on- twitter, instagram or pinterest.  I'd love to help- and apparently I'm lacking a little organized chaos in my life right now- haha!

Some of us just live for the mayhem- and I'm one of them- if it doesn't come my way I go looking for it!  :)

Summertime Adventures

I know it has been a while! I apologize I have been wanting to update- but I can't quite get my thoughts all in order- so while I work through this writers block- here's a photo update of some of our recent adventures!

Summer has finally arrived in Ohio and we have been having so much fun!

It's not quite the same fun that summer used to bring with weekend trips, vacations, and theme parks and all day adventures but we are definitely still having fun!  Trips and outings just take a bit more planning.

We are trying to get back out there!  Over the winter I feel like I really did hibernate- too cold and snowy to want to go anywhere especially with a newborn- but  I'm trying to figure it all out now and find out some good places we can go and fun things we can do! If you have any ideas/suggestions send them my way!

So far we have:

Springtime Family Photos! 

Gone to the park to walk and take new family photos- this was actually more spring time but that's ok!

Trip to the Zoo! 

We went to the zoo on a especially cold late spring/early summer day- it was obviously so much fun it worn the little guy out!  And it was so cold we were only there about two hours but the first couple animals he did really enjoy seeing!

Four Generations! 

We celebrated Tony's birthday with a cookout! Which also included a visit from his Grandparents from Florida and Aunt and her family.  It was so great because we had four generations all together for a family shot!

Father's Day! 

Tony had his first Fathers Day!  Which was such a busy and special day!  It started out with coffee and his favorite donuts, and ended up with a first time swimming for little man and a new addition to the family- a puppy named Cody!  

Where did I pee??? You'll never guess! 

Cody has been a great addition.  I know some people have said we are crazy- but you know I just don't like boredom so why not take on a puppy and a baby! haha.  Little man loves the pup though so all the crazy is worth it!

First time hitting the pool! 

It doesn't look like I am having too much fun...
But I promise I love it! 

Best Buds! 

Nap Time is better when we snuggle!

I'd say we are having a pretty good summer so far!  I'll keep working through this writers block and hopefully have something more informative next time! :) 

Religion Struggles...

OK- here goes another just super honest blog- I am sorry if anyone is offended by but, it's just where I am right now and my story and my struggle.

Doesn't everyone have a First
Communion picture like this??

It's safe to say that currently I am struggling to find my religious "home." I grew up Catholic attended 12 years of Catholic school, attending Mass every weekend with my family.  My family always went to Saturday evening Mass and afterwards we would go out to dinner.  It was pretty much the one night a week we ate out- it became our normal Saturday night- sometimes we would go out to dinner and then stop at Blockbuster to rent a movie!  It was special treat and a fun family night growing up.

I was actually a very good practicing Catholic until I began college. I went to college away from home and just never found a Church there.  However, even before I went to college- Mass had long become just a routine I would sit through. I just people watch and wonder how many people just came to Mass once a week thinking it was their pass for the week- were they really living their faith once they left? The homilies often made me mad- I began to criticize parts of the sermon and question parts of my faith.

I in no way have ever questioned God- I believe in God.  I know for a fact there is some higher power watching over us and guiding us if we let Him.  But what I do question is people's interpretations of The Bible- it's so very easy to interpret Bible stories/lessons in a way that gets followers to believe and act a way that is favorable to their own beliefs.

I also do not like the business aspect of the Church.  I know that it is in fact a business and that for parishes to survive they have to have money supporting them.  But I personally have seen an ugly business side of the Church where people were not treated in a very fair, respectful or understanding way. I know that one situation or person should not affect my entire faith but it is just more fuel that makes me question the interpretation/ manipulation of people in a position of religious power.

My other struggle is I want to get my son Baptized but my husband and his family are not Catholic which means no one from his side of the family are eligible to be Godparents.  We were married in the Catholic Church but because he is not Catholic our marriage is not recognized in the Church.  This bothers me- he is judge because he is not like everyone else and not fully accepted- shouldn't a Church be accepting of every person and welcoming everyone.

One thing that has stuck with me is from a World Religion class I took in high school- I found it so interesting that so may religions have similar stories. This only reinforced my belief that there is a God but people have just interpreted God and miracles in different ways and call Him different names.

I question why any religion only focuses on the differences instead of the beliefs that we all share.  Why do we say there is only one true religion- isn't it kind of arrogant to just disregard millions of other people's beliefs.  Why is any Religion given the power to judge another person based on a belief or lifestyle? Isn't it better to believe that God truly loves all people and that if we are a good kind person that helps others, and makes that world a better place that will be an enough for Him to grant us eternal life and salvation?

This is my belief and because of it I am struggling to find a new Faith home. I want my son to grow up in a Church, to learn about Religion, Faith, God and The Bible. But I also want to honestly stand behind this religion and know how to answer questions when he comes to me to ask- why is this, why do we do that?   How can I ask and teach him to believe something I am not sure I fully understand and agree with?

I want to create a Saturday/Sunday tradition where we go to Church and then share a meal as a family.  But I am not sure where to go- if I should explore another Faith or if I give the Catholic Church another try.  I am stuck and confused.

JS

Family Zombie Time!

We have sort of a fun weekly tradition with my husband's family.  About two years ago we all started watching The Walking Dead... I know right.... super fun family bonding show.  But it is for us.

We all (about 10 of us- which is pretty impressive to coordinate that many schedules!) get together Sunday night have dinner, hang out and watch the show. We laugh at the zombies, are shocked by the plot twists and/or say we called it (there's bets out on Beth's survival), try and come up with what's going to happen or how they are going to get out of each crazy situation.

It's become a fun Sunday night that we all look forward too- of course The Walking Dead is only on 6-8 weeks at a time- so we have kept up the tradition on their off seasons by getting together and watching movies every Sunday.  We watched Frozen much to some of the mens' protest.... but lets not lie- they all loved it!  Next week it's The Avenger's once we discovered someone in our group had never seen it! Plus I know our little guy will like it- he loves action... already such a boy (he laughs every time we say stinky poo-poo).

Ok enough about our movie and TV watching habits.  Since we have moved in to our house we have sort of become the house to host Sunday nights- which is fine for me because I have made Sunday my day to stay home, hang out with my little man and get ready for the week!  I love Sundays!

Sunday has also become by Crock Pot Recipe test day! The Sunday night crew has become my guinea pigs for new Crock Pot recipes!  This past week was Crock Pot Mexican Lasagna.  I personally was not 100% sold on it but everyone else said they enjoyed it- so I'll give it one more try!

Here are a few of the Crock Pot recipes I have tried- that I'll definitely make again:

• Mexican Lasagna
• Cheeseburger Sandwiches
• Chicken Tacos 
• Chicken Cheesy Spaghetti
• Chicken Bacon Ranch Pasta
• Spinach Alfredo Ravioli 
• Cheesy Spinach Tortellini 
• Cream Cheese Chicken Chili
• Chicken Pot Pie 
• Breakfast Casserole- who doesn't love breakfast for dinner! 

Tonight I am trying Creamy Chipotle Tortellini! (I'll let you know how it is.)

There are many more recipes on my Pinterest Page- You are welcome to check them out- I haven't made them all but - it's kind of like all the crafts and home decor- they sounded good enough and easy enough for me to re-pin them!

I just have to say again- Crock Pot recipes are awesome- they make enough to feed 10 people, and sometimes we even have leftovers!  I really think I could throw just about anything in there and it would turn out!  It's amazing!  I'm thinking I need to buy like three more!  Plus and possibly best of all- its a one pot clean-up- so I can rinse it and get back to the party- because after all I made it- so hubby's on clean-up duty! :)

JS

40 Acts of Kindness Summary

Hey guys,

A belated Happy Easter!

Sorry it has been a while- I just decided to wait and do one post to do to summarize my 40 acts of Kindness Challenge.  I am happy to report that I have completed my Lenten Kindness Challenge- with the exception of one final act:
Planting a Tree/flower- the weather has not been on my side and I am waiting to do this until it consistently warms up- who knows this one may have to wait until June!

But here is a summary of the rest of the items on my challenge list:

• Clean up litter- I did this in our grocery store parking lot
• Bring Flowers to a friend- I did this twice for two different friends 
• Compliment someone- completed twice with two work friends 
• Make dinner for a friend- I did this one 5 times throughout Lent for a few different friends
• Donated Food to the Lebanon Food Pantry 
• Make a Donation to a Charity-I donated money to 2 local charities 
• Leave a generous tip- Completed for my birthday dinner out with my husband 
• Let someone go in line in front of you- Completed at least twice- at the post office and at Starbucks 
• Hold the door for someone- Completed 4 times- this one was cutting it close the last one was  Easter morning at Church
• Write a letter to a friend- Completed twice
• Bring Co-workers a special treat- Completed twice 
• Buy Someones lunch- Completed one time- I bought my friends lunch when we were out shopping one afternoon
• Donate Used Clothing- I donated some clothing and other items to the Vietnam Vets
• Plant a tree/flower- To Be Completed as soon as the weather is consistently warm
• Be an active listener to someone who needs to talk- Completed
• Give a Thank you note- completed two times
• Donate Blood- My husband and I both donated blood on April 12th
• Make Breakfast for my husband- My husband is very lucky I did this three times throughout Lent
• Say Good Morning and smile- I think I did this really almost everyday but I know I completed it at least four times
• Thank and praise a co-worker for their good work- Again this a grey area because I think I did this a few times but I only noted doing it one time

Adding up all the acts we are at 39 plus one TBD- when Spring officially arrives and sticks around for a while!   

Here is what I have taken away from this challenge.  I had a good time with this; it felt very rewarding to do simple acts of kindness for others.  It was fun to surprise a friend with flowers, to make someone's day by just letting them go in front of you in the coffee line.  Taking the time to write an actual letter to friends who I don't get to see often is important to help us stay in touch and connected.  I hope all of these acts made people smile and brightened their days- and perhaps they passed on the kindness to others- I don't really know but I hope so!  :)  

My favorite act that I did on this challenge was I took flowers to my very best friend that has unfortunately passed away. I had not visited her in way too long.  While it is always hard to go and see her, it also brings me a strange sense of peace. I was able to talk to her, tell her I miss her, and would give so much just to have a stupid conversation and hear her laugh about everything and nothing one more time.  Somehow going to see her- makes me feel more connected to her again and know that she is still a part of my life and is looking over me and my family. 

I think I will do this again next year I'll keep some of these acts and try and come up with a few new ones.  Having my acts out on a list made me take the time to think about them and start doing them again-like saying good morning- I always mean to say it but sometimes I jump right into working I forget- having the list just made me more aware. Over the next few years our little guy can become gradually more involved and help with some of them- I think it will be very rewarding, fun and educational for him and our whole family. 

Thanks for going on this journey with me and helping me complete my Lenten Challenge.

I'll get back to my "normal" blog posts now- we are getting ready to travel for the first time with little man- so hopefully I'll have some tips and/or lessons for you on that soon! :)

JS