See you later...

My family and I just experienced the closest thing to a real life "Notebook" story.  My last post I told you about losing my Grandma, well exactly a month to the day later we lost my Grandpa.  I told you-they just couldn't be apart for too long.  In the history of couples that belong together- there is Mickey and Minnie, Romeo and Juliet, and not far behind- Ed and June.

I know we are relieved that they can be together again, free from pain- reliving the glory days of drinking beer, playing cards and dancing.  But I think this loss has hit a bit harder.  Maybe because somehow it's more definite. Not that before Grandma was coming back, but with Grandpa here- part of their family was still here, there was still Grandma and Grandpa's house to visit.  The lost of Grandma was still so fresh and now there is Grandpa too.  I think its just hitting everyone a little harder.

Together Grandma and Grandpa lit up a room- their smiles, and laughter just filled a room with joy and love. But in my last post I shared with you a little bit about my Grandma, so it's only fair that this one I tell you about my Grandpa.  He was the kindest man, a true gentleman. He always put everyone before himself. He loved his family and his wife more than anything. I believe his greatest joys were when all of his children, grandchildren and eventually great grandchildren were together.

I can't really sum up my Grandpa's whole 91 years of life in just a few sentences but I can say he was warm, loving, sweet, jovial, funny and just always seemed to enjoy life.  My amazing aunt put together a video tribute that really sums his spirit and life up better than I ever could. http://vimeo.com/106232790.

I will share a few of my favorite Grandpa memories though.
When I was little and we would go out to eat with my grandparents and I'd get a dessert, Grandpa always take a bite first and say, "I better test that out for you- make sure it's OK." He was funny, clever, quick-witted and a little corny, but in a way that can only be Grandpa.  Along with playing card games- which Grandma and Grandpa taught us all at an early age- we also played dominos.  I remember my Grandpa getting so frustrated with the game- he always ended up with the worst tiles- nothing to play and a million points to add up at the end. Without fail every game at some point (usually still in the first round or two) included Grandpa saying with great frustration "I hate this game!"  I have to say this phrase comes up in every game we play as a family- at some point, by someone- but we always play again.

We have already begun cleaning out Grandma and Grandpa's house- and each child and grandchild has taken a little something to have in our own homes- a way to remind us of them, keep them close to us. It's been hard- filled with tears, stress and heartache- but also some laughter and even a few happy tears- laughter is healing- and if there is something we can always make each other do it's- laugh.

I believe is ghosts, angels, spirits- whatever you want to call them.  I believe even after someone leaves this world physically they are still here with us. They are still a part of our lives. I've felt it.

I lost my best friend over two years ago and on multiple occasions since I've felt her with me.  Things have happened that maybe could be explained in some other way- but I don't care to explain them in any other way.  I know they were Lauren saying hi, or just being with me. I know the night my son was born- I called on Lauren- I was scared and anxious and had no idea what to expect- I just said Lauren help me through this, be with me. And I know she was.  Another time right after I visited Lauren's gravestone-the first time I had taken Elijah with me-I was pulling out of the cemetery and my inside car lights turned on, and started beeping like my trunk was open.  But it was not it hadn't opened in several days.  Now you have to know that Lauren had this obsession with checking her car to make sure her trunk was closed - she would always double, triple check it every time we left my house. I know that when I left the cemetery that was just Lauren saying hello.

I also believe this has already happened with my Grandma.  The Thursday after my Grandma's funeral I was driving to work and lightning struck right in front of my car- maybe five-ten feet away. It was SCARY!  But I was ok- I know that was my Grandma just saying hi.  I know this sounds strange too- but my Grandma was electric! Every house she had ever lived in-since she was 5 years old had been struck by lightning- and she moved a lot!

Sure these situations could be coincidences and maybe they can all logically be explained but I'd rather believe that the people I love who have passed on are with me, watching over me, helping me. I believe after someone passes on- that we can carry them with us our whole lives and a part of them lives on with us. I also believe these same loved ones carry us through some of the darkest, hardest times of our lives. Times when we feel like giving up, when we are so overwhelmed they push us to continue through to the lighter times.

So as sad as we all are now-dealing with the fresh losses of Grandma and Grandpa  (and I'll tell you heaven got some good ones this past month)  I know I have just gained two more people who will be watching over me, and I'll be looking for a hello from them every once in a while!  So I will not say goodbye Grandpa- I'll just say See you later!

Love you Grandpa!

JS