Body Issues.

Ok so I am going to go ahead and try to tackle a sensitive and tricky subject..... body issues after pregnancy.

Let me preface this by saying I am judging no one and I do not have a stance on anything- these are just my thoughts based on my pregnancy, experience and feelings.  I am also not looking for a pity party or anything of the sort.  If anything I am just sharing my experience in hopes that it gives some reassurance to others who may be feeling or have felt the same way.

So let's just start by saying- before my wedding in October 2012, I worked really hard to get myself to a place where I was happy with my body- I felt good, energized, healthy and happy!  I had been running and eating healthier well-balanced meals. I honestly do not know how much weight I lost- I never stood on a scale- I just knew I felt better as a whole.

Now I said after my wedding I was going to keep up my running schedule- but I am not someone who runs on a treadmill- I need to be outside, listening to music, feeling the breeze.  (I will be the person that falls off a treadmill).  I could come up with an excuse as to why I did not keep running, the time changed it was dark earlier, it was winter and cold, it was the holidays.  Honestly, it was a combination of everything but the results are the same I did not keep my promise and started putting back on some weight. Then last March I found out I was pregnant so 9 months and a baby later- I'm back to where I started!

One of the few pictures of me pregnant.

When I found out I was pregnant I was excited we had been trying for a few months- but I would not say I was someone who loved being pregnant.  From the very beginning I just didn't feel like myself- I was tired and cranky, my hormones made me cry at the drop of a hat and then be furious a second later. I just felt- not right.

I did not like strangers commenting on my pregnant belly- "When are you due?" "Are you having a boy or a girl?" "Wow, you look like your ready to pop!" "Your feet are so swollen!"- Thanks, I know all of this!

I know all these comments were not made with any intent to upset me- but when you already feel off - they are draining.  I just wanted to say- I don't know you random cashier/waitress/person walking in the mall- I'm never going to see you again and frankly none of this is any of your business.  Of course as a "glowing" pregnant woman- that response is not acceptable- so you just smile and answer politely.

My entire pregnancy I tried to be healthy- I was very good about eating plenty of fruits and veggies, no caffeine, eating all my meals. But let's be honest I had a sweet tooth before I was pregnant and being pregnant I did indulge in my fair share of sweet treats! (mostly ice cream- so I feel like we can count that as dairy- right!).

Throughout my pregnancy I believe I gained about 50lbs- I was right on track until the last few weeks-when, holy cow, I just gained a ton of water weight.  In a two week period I gained 14lbs- I left the appointment feeling GINORMOUS- I mean how is that even possible! (My son did come about three weeks early- so I guess my body was just preparing with lots of extra water weight very quickly!)

Right after I delivered I lost a bunch of weight- that was FUN!  (I don't know exact numbers- I'm not a fan of scales- I just want to feel good and back to my normal self).  I was planning on breastfeeding, which helps you loose the baby weight- and I did for about 7 weeks but it honestly was just not working out for me and it was making me miserable (and an unhealthy/unhappy mom can not be a good mom or wife).  Since I have stopped breastfeeding I have also stopped loosing weight.

I am ready and wanting to get back into my wedding day shape. But I also have a whole new set of priorities in my life and my son is number one.  While my wanting to exercise and loose weight is important, I feel it is more important for me to spend quality time with my son at home after work.  I want to snuggle with him, play with him and just be with him.  He is my number one focus and time with him takes precedence over everything else in my life.

We are starting a healthier lifestyle as a family- which means eating at home more, making healthy sweet treats that include a lot of fruit, and choosing healthier snacks. I can already tell a difference in just the way I feel- I'm starting to feel better- which is really my goal. And as soon as this dreadfully long winter breaks we will be out in the stroller walking and running.

I am determined to get back to feeling as healthy and happy with my appearance as I did on my wedding day- and while the road to get there may be a little longer- it will be filled with fun active memories with my son and family.


JS