Body Issues.

Ok so I am going to go ahead and try to tackle a sensitive and tricky subject..... body issues after pregnancy.

Let me preface this by saying I am judging no one and I do not have a stance on anything- these are just my thoughts based on my pregnancy, experience and feelings.  I am also not looking for a pity party or anything of the sort.  If anything I am just sharing my experience in hopes that it gives some reassurance to others who may be feeling or have felt the same way.

So let's just start by saying- before my wedding in October 2012, I worked really hard to get myself to a place where I was happy with my body- I felt good, energized, healthy and happy!  I had been running and eating healthier well-balanced meals. I honestly do not know how much weight I lost- I never stood on a scale- I just knew I felt better as a whole.

Now I said after my wedding I was going to keep up my running schedule- but I am not someone who runs on a treadmill- I need to be outside, listening to music, feeling the breeze.  (I will be the person that falls off a treadmill).  I could come up with an excuse as to why I did not keep running, the time changed it was dark earlier, it was winter and cold, it was the holidays.  Honestly, it was a combination of everything but the results are the same I did not keep my promise and started putting back on some weight. Then last March I found out I was pregnant so 9 months and a baby later- I'm back to where I started!

One of the few pictures of me pregnant.

When I found out I was pregnant I was excited we had been trying for a few months- but I would not say I was someone who loved being pregnant.  From the very beginning I just didn't feel like myself- I was tired and cranky, my hormones made me cry at the drop of a hat and then be furious a second later. I just felt- not right.

I did not like strangers commenting on my pregnant belly- "When are you due?" "Are you having a boy or a girl?" "Wow, you look like your ready to pop!" "Your feet are so swollen!"- Thanks, I know all of this!

I know all these comments were not made with any intent to upset me- but when you already feel off - they are draining.  I just wanted to say- I don't know you random cashier/waitress/person walking in the mall- I'm never going to see you again and frankly none of this is any of your business.  Of course as a "glowing" pregnant woman- that response is not acceptable- so you just smile and answer politely.

My entire pregnancy I tried to be healthy- I was very good about eating plenty of fruits and veggies, no caffeine, eating all my meals. But let's be honest I had a sweet tooth before I was pregnant and being pregnant I did indulge in my fair share of sweet treats! (mostly ice cream- so I feel like we can count that as dairy- right!).

Throughout my pregnancy I believe I gained about 50lbs- I was right on track until the last few weeks-when, holy cow, I just gained a ton of water weight.  In a two week period I gained 14lbs- I left the appointment feeling GINORMOUS- I mean how is that even possible! (My son did come about three weeks early- so I guess my body was just preparing with lots of extra water weight very quickly!)

Right after I delivered I lost a bunch of weight- that was FUN!  (I don't know exact numbers- I'm not a fan of scales- I just want to feel good and back to my normal self).  I was planning on breastfeeding, which helps you loose the baby weight- and I did for about 7 weeks but it honestly was just not working out for me and it was making me miserable (and an unhealthy/unhappy mom can not be a good mom or wife).  Since I have stopped breastfeeding I have also stopped loosing weight.

I am ready and wanting to get back into my wedding day shape. But I also have a whole new set of priorities in my life and my son is number one.  While my wanting to exercise and loose weight is important, I feel it is more important for me to spend quality time with my son at home after work.  I want to snuggle with him, play with him and just be with him.  He is my number one focus and time with him takes precedence over everything else in my life.

We are starting a healthier lifestyle as a family- which means eating at home more, making healthy sweet treats that include a lot of fruit, and choosing healthier snacks. I can already tell a difference in just the way I feel- I'm starting to feel better- which is really my goal. And as soon as this dreadfully long winter breaks we will be out in the stroller walking and running.

I am determined to get back to feeling as healthy and happy with my appearance as I did on my wedding day- and while the road to get there may be a little longer- it will be filled with fun active memories with my son and family.


JS

Renovated and Reloaded- Mommy Style!

It's been several months since I have updated and what a couple of months it has been!!  Never has my life completely and utterly changed so quickly- one night and WOAH it's all new!

My husband and I welcomed our son into our family on November 14th- immediately we were in love. It's the type of love that even though you just met this little baby you know you always have and always will love him! He is precious and perfect and I am sure will never do anything wrong and will probably rule the world one day. (maybe that's just my "mommy bias")

It's been challenging- but the best, most rewarding kind of challenging- and even being sleep deprived, spit-up, peed and pooped on all in one day- it's been the best time of my life!  I have had my fair share of breakdowns and freak-outs, but hey my hormones are working their way back to some level of normalcy.  It's overwhelming; I have to plan my potty breaks and shower according to little man's schedule, to leave the house I feel like I bring 90% of everything we own!

Now at almost three months old (I can't believe it) we are working into some sort of routine.  It is an indescribable feeling to look into our baby's eyes and see my parts of my husband and myself looking back. He really looks more like his dad right now- but I have realized that when he stretches out waking up or going to sleep it's almost the exact stretches I do when I am tired! Weird and Amazing!

When my maternity leave began (sort of unexpectedly- little man made a surprise arrival 3 weeks early) I felt like I had all the time in the world- but it flew by!  I can't believe that I am going back to work full time in just about a week! I am really not looking forward to this but now that we have this little guy we have to be able to afford him- so it is necessary that I go back to work.  We are lucky to have a very supportive family and that has volunteered to watch him a few days a week so we only have to do daycare part-time- I'm sure daycare days will be the harder days- (I wonder if I can just stay on the phone with the daycare all day so I can just hear him!)

I'm going to try and wrap up this blog post- because I honestly feel like I could just keep writing and I'm not sure anyone would want to keep reading!  But I hope to use this blog to share stories with out of town relatives and it honestly helps me reflect and focus; maybe it can also help other moms to hear another person's story about balancing the mayhem of work and family life. I'll post quick dinner recipes (I intend on becoming a crock-pot queen), fun craft ideas/activities, travel tips, and funny stories!


I feel like my life has been leading up to this like I have a real purpose now.  I have someone that I would literally do anything and everything for; someone I will protect above everything else. I don't know how to describe it accept he is mine.

Thanks for reading- I'll try to post again once I'm back at full-time; that's when the real balancing begins!

JS