Saying Goodbye

Two weeks ago today we lost my Grandma. It's not that this was a total shock- she had been sick, I guess it just came a little faster than anyone thought.  My family and I are all relieved she did not have to suffer too long.  But her not being with us in this world has left us with sorrow, grief and longing.

Grandma and Grandpa at my wedding in 2012

My Grandma was just what you picture when you think of "Grandma"- she always had a candy jar- maybe two out in her house (one with Skittles, one with chocolate) and no matter how quiet you tried to be sneaking candy before dinner you'd hear from the other room, "I heard that."  I remember her and my Grandpa taking care of me one summer and spending almost the entire summer teaching me to shuffle cards- we play a lot of card games in my family- so you gotta learn young!  I remember taking a train ride with my cousins and grandparents and Grandma pulling lemon drops out of her purse for us to snack on during the train ride- even though I'm pretty sure the train was taking us to lunch!  She was loving, joyful, clever and funny- she was Grandma.

When I think of the "leader" in our family- I think of her.  She organized get-togethers, hosted parties, planned trips. I hope she knows she left a family who will continue on the parties,  get-togethers and traditions she started.  We will even continue the traditions we each complain and grumble through- Christmas cookie decorating, every year we make too many- but every year we make the same.  It's what we do, and we will continue to do. Because who doesn't love Christmas cookies until Valentine's Day!  :)

The hardest part of this loss is seeing my Grandpa without her.

My entire life I never saw my Grandma and Grandpa apart (I mean maybe by a room- Grandma in the kitchen, Grandpa watching the game in the family room).  They truly lived their lives together- is there anything more amazing then to honestly be able to say you shared your whole life with someone- from 16 years old on?   It's just amazing and so lovely!  She passed away peacefully, holding my Grandpa's hand- I can't think of a more peaceful way for her to pass on.

I absolutely love this picture from my Grandparents wedding. 

My Grandpa is being strong, he is heartbroken but he is still getting up, smiling, laughing and yelling at the Reds, or Bengals.  (There isn't always a lot to cheer about with Cincinnati sports)

Grandma help create a family filled with support, laughter and love for each other.  At her memorial there was a sadness of saying goodbye but a lightness as well. We were all together and I think that makes us realize how strong we are as a family.  I see a part of her in all of us and that will help carry on her memory and legacy. 

After we cried for our loss, we laughed remembering good times, and planning for future memories.  I do not think there is anything more healing then laughter.  I'm proud to be a part of a family that never ceases to smile, laugh and love. 

Love you Grandma! 

JS